The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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