Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
