hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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