Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
where are my eyebrows?
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