idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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