You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
