Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
