i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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