What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
