I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
