My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
