Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
