the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
