How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
