Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
