Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
