I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We left an ass print on the piano.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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