we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
