dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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