why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
