it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
