I want to have your abortion
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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