remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
