Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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