nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
These tits shall not be calmed
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
