So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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