Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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