no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
