I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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