tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
