You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
