enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
