I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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