I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
