And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
