She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
