But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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