Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
