big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
