Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
