I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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