Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
