her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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