You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
