Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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