The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
