I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
