You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
