I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
