dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
