Don't you send me to vm
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We don't watch enough power rangers
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
