I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
