omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
